Well everyone, I have survived and adjusted to being a mother of 5. However, I am still learning the dos and donts of being a foster parent. One thing for sure is that all children in foster care are not victims of drug abuse. We will never truly know their entire stories but know that their trauma runs deep. My 5 beautiful children all have trauma but how they interpret and handle their trauma is differently. This means I had to adjust myself to deal with 5 different traumas based on how that little human being needs care.
So school has started, 4 are in school and 1 home with me. I think I'm ready. This shouldn't be so hard. The husband back then would get up and get everyone dressed and fed while I slept in a bit. He would then get them off to school while I stayed home with the youngest and started the household chores. Let me tell you, I am cleaning a 3 story house, doing laundry, and cooking dinner. Husband will go to work and it was game time afterwards. There's meetings, teaching the youngest her ABCs, colors, and numbers, picking kids up from school, doing homework, play time, dinner, bath time, a little TV time and off to bed. This became our routine. Sounds like a normal day of a family with multiple kids. But wait, we now have to add in visit with birth mom and therapy sessions. All while still maintaining some structure and stability for these little ones. I thought I had it. We on a schedule so it's easy. WRONG, the drama has just begun.
Through the trainings no one can really train and prepare you for the ups and downs of the relationship between you as a foster parent and the birth parent(s). My thought process coming into this was that I will not be friends with the birth parent but instead to have a level of respect for one another while working with the birth parent in reaching the goal of returning children back home. I want to help mentor the birth parent. In a perfect world that is how things would be. However, my 5 beautiful children mother was just as broken as them. Learning that they all were living through a generational curse, we had our good days and we definitely had our bad days. Our good days consisted of us communicating regarding the kids positive and negative behaviors, sharing success stories like the 1st time my 6yr old read her entire book by herself to someone graduating from preschool and kindergarten. Then we fell in those bad days where the communication stop and turned into false allegations of us miss treating her kids. Those were some dark times. Those were the times where I can honestly say I wanted to walk away. Your livelihood, character, and integrity is at state. Having to go through an investigation and still hold your head up and care for children not of your own bloodline became harder than we thought. The days became long, anxiety was high, confidence was low but with the support of my SOS family and my own family, we made it through our first rough patch.
People ask all the time, "if you knew what you know now, would you still have made the decision to become a foster parent?" At this time of our new family, we were only about 2 months into it, I can say "yes, I'll still make the decision to become a foster parent." What I realized through the bad times is that becoming a foster parent wasn't my decision but instead it was a decision by and from God. I finally found my purpose, mission, service in life, I AM A FOSTER PARENT.