What Training Don't Cover Part 2
Where was I, oh, so the trauma to what the new baby was getting ready to start was boiling as the days ticked by. I went from having to lay in the bed at night with my 6yr old because of nightmares that the baby was trying to kill her to constantly reassuring all the kids that they will not get less love from me just because of the new baby. And then the day came, I received the phone call that DCP was heading to mom house to bring the baby to our house. Mom and the baby had just been released from the hospital. I was told that my caseworker would go to the kids school to pick them up. I don't know if he told them why it was him picking them up instead of me. All I do know is that when they came in the door and saw their daddy (husband at the time) holding a new baby girl, all hell broke loose. I remember I was sitting upstairs on the 2nd floor at my desk getting some paperwork I need to go to the store, when the oldest 3 came running to me crying saying "why is she here." I'll say this again, no trainings prepared me for any of this. These babies were so hurt and angry that their little precious sister was here. Not just here living but here in our home. My oldest just keeping asking "why can't she go to someone else house, why she has to be here?" Then we have my 6yr old crying and just screaming to the top of her lungs in more of an anger voice. She didn't want to even come out her room. And then we had my oldest baby boy. He was just so emotional. I wasn't expecting his breakdown. Like he wouldn't let me go. He climbed into my lap and just keeping saying "I don't want you to go," and "why is the baby here?" When I say my heart was breaking for my babies but guess what it still wasn't over.
All of this took place on a Friday, the kids had a visit with their biological mother and she was definitely coming. So I had to go to the store to get things for the new baby, calm down the 3 oldest to prepare them for their visit, and make sure that their mom was ok being at the visit after having her newborn baby taken from her. This was alot and I found nothing in any of the training materials that cover any of these situations. So I did what I knew best, extended love and empathy to everyone while placing myself on the back burner. I took about 15 minutes each with all 3 of my babies to reassure them nothing would change and that having her I our lives meant our family was just growing because God it would be best. Then I met mom outside at the car, gave her a hug and asked if she was ok. She ensured me that indeed she was so I told her what to expect when going into the house. When I tell you that she was so nonchalant about it that I was more scared for my babies than her. I spent the next 2 hours at the store getting, cat seat, baby clothes, baby formula, bassinet, bottles, and everything else I thought we needed. One thing I did also was to buy something for the other 5 children so that why they see that they will continued to be just as loved. I was determined to make this new transition in their lives a positive one because this little new human didn't know their trauma and we were working on healing from their trauma.
Even though trainings didn't cover this part of fostering, I definitely say looking back on it now, I handle things better than most people may have. There's nothing I'll change about it. We became a family of 8 and the fun was just about to really begin.