Grieving A Loss

Even now 14 years later I can honestly say that I find myself still grieving the loss of my baby girl. No matter what I tell myself, the day can sometimes seems as if it just happen yesterday, a week ago, or even a month ago. After trying to conceive and then finally getting that positive test result, you could imagine how excited we were. I remember people asking about what I want and all I could say just a healthy baby. Then that day Feb 8, 2008, I delivered at 16 weeks a healthy baby girl that I had to say hello and goodbye to all in the same day. Never would I think this would be my story but God already has our lives written, we are just living out the pages. I grieved for over a year and I did it a lot of times silently. Some people didn't understand what and why I was grieving while others didn't know what to say. But grieving a loss of child is different then grieving a loss of another love one. A child that grows inside your own body, you feed through your own body, you felt every movement and hear the heartbeat rips you differently. But with my faith and support that I built around me for those who could understand, my grieving process became more manageable. To this day, I question myself about it all but what I can truly say is that I received just for that 1 minute what I wanted, a healthy baby. You may ask how was she healthy if she passed right afterwards. Well, at 16 weeks old she could not have survive with the lung capacity that she had began to developed and after many testing on her body and even myself, the results were in. It was my body and levels that cause the early delivery. So guess what the grieving process began again. But the real question is, does one really ever stop grieving? Let's talk about it